{"id":4143,"date":"2022-12-17T04:06:57","date_gmt":"2022-12-17T04:06:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennielsen.com\/?p=4143"},"modified":"2022-12-17T04:08:32","modified_gmt":"2022-12-17T04:08:32","slug":"holiday-advice-from-sage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/archives\/4143","title":{"rendered":"Holiday Advice from Sage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(With unwanted and frankly, unhelpful input from his friends)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holiday Advice #1<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When faced with an enemy, always watch the eyes. Before anyone attacks, they have the thought to do it. Strike as soon as they have the thought, not when they attack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I attack without thinking first. Now you know why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IMOGEN: Sage, this is supposed to be holiday advice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is. Do you want someone getting into a sword fight during the holidays? Not me! But there\u2019s more device.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holiday Advice #2<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you receive a present, and it\u2019s ticking, you should destroy it at once. Yes, it could be a clock or a very nice watch, but why take the risk?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TOBIAS: Is that what happened to the watch I gave you last year?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No, I got the watch, but I just didn\u2019t like it. Fink has it now.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holiday Advice #3<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t start a war over the holidays. In general, don\u2019t start any war ever, but especially not during the holidays. Did you ever try to eat a holiday pudding while fighting a war? Probably not, because you can\u2019t do both. Choose the pudding instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holiday Advice #4<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Every holiday season, make sure to give a little something to your enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AMARINDA: That\u2019s a thoughtful way to spread peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actually, I meant like giving a little Boltec root into their tea. By sunset, they\u2019ll break out in boils. It\u2019s really funny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AMARINDA: That\u2019s not thoughtful at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is. Believe me, I put a lot of thought into to that one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Holiday Advice #5<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

No gift is more valuable than being with the people you love. Everything you own in the world can be destroyed by a single army attack on your castle. If your loved ones are with you, then it will be all right. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those of you who have experienced this personally will know exactly what I mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Special thanks to a few fans who have created some amazing art over the past few months. You all never cease to amaze me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
From Hannah<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a>
From Avery<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a>
Uncredited<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

As a final reminder, remember there is a giveaway for an ARC of ICEBERG, my next novel, ending on December 22nd. You can read the details and enter on the December 6th post. If you haven’t entered yet, head over there now for a chance to win!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(With unwanted and frankly, unhelpful input from his friends) Holiday Advice #1 When faced with an enemy, always watch the eyes. Before anyone attacks, they have the thought to do it. Strike as soon as they have the thought, not when they attack. Sometimes I attack without thinking first. Now you know why. IMOGEN: Sage, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4143"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4143\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4150,"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4143\/revisions\/4150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennielsen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}